03/29/2016
- If you know me, you know I’m not a huge fan of Tom Cruise movies. Typically, they consist of
- I think one of the most interesting aspects of Valkyrie is that it is entirely in English yet all the characters except Tom Cruise’s has a German accent. I don’t know if this is because Tom Cruise can’t do a good German accent (I doubt it, Tom Cruise seems to be good at playing outside his typical roles) but I like to believe it has to do with how we, the audience, view the characters on the screen. As viewers, we are inclined to associate stereotypes with certain characters and the director will take advantage of that. She or he, when applicable, would rather defer to stereotypes than spending screen time to convince you to hate a character. After all, they need all the screen time to tell the story at hand. All the Nazis in the movie have a German accent except for Cruise. In fact, Cruise has an American accent throughout the movie. It’s familiar and therefore, we are more likely to throw a little more trust and empathy his way. Furthermore, Cruise’s character is idolized and attached with honorable motives making us like him more.
- The rest of the movie is a typical Tom Cruise movie. There’s no reason to not like his character. He’s doing everything for the right reasons. The only difference this time is that he doesn’t come out on top.
- As far as historic accuracy is concerned, I believe the general story about Operation Valkyrie and Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg is there. But the entirety of my knowledge on this particular event is based on hours of History Channel episodes on the event, in between episodes of Histories’ Mysteries when I was in middle school.
- oh Histories’ Mysteries, constantly reminding us that those hieroglyphics are etchings of extraterrestrials pit-stopping on Earth for some good ol’ crop circle fun.
- 6/10
03/26/2016
- The movie that finally pays attention to the collateral damage surrounding Superman’s action.
- The movie should’ve ended right at the bathtub scene.
- Lois, played by Amy Adams, is in the bathroom taking a bath after a difficult day at work where she was captured
by terrorists. Superman had saved her but while doing so, has hurt many innocent lives.
- Superman, appearing as Clark Kent and played by Henry “Hair Never Moves” Cavill, appears in the bathroom with
flowers.
- Lois expresses concern over the events that has happened and the increasing negativity associated with Superman.
- Superman comforts her and in an act of desperate intimacy, climbs into the tub with his clothes on. His body’s
volume displaces water in the tub, so much so it spills over.
- DONE. Though having the best intentions, SUPERMAN ONCE AGAIN RUINS SOMETHING. Do you know what kind of mold this
will bring?! Damp bathrooms are a haven for mold because of the wet conditions. Superman just exacerbated the
situation. Lois probably has those midcentury homes too with the wood floors and trim. Those are highly susceptible
to mold.
- Lex Luthor plays the CEO of a startup, LexCorp, trying to pivot from software to hardware after hearing that Y
Combinator will focus on more hardware startups.
- At one point, you can see Batman download stolen LexCorp files into the /var/ directory. Batman uses Linux confirmed.
- Upon extracting LexCorp files, he opens it and it goes immediately to LexOS. Batman uses Docker confirmed.
- Batman’s heavy-armour suit looks like King Arthur on steroids.
- Batman’s heavy-armour suit looks like he ate King Arther.
- Batman’s heavy-armour suit will be part of the downloadable-content in the newest Call of Duty: Modern Batfare.
- Batman’s heavy-armour suit looks like the RoboCop from Medieval Times.
- In an act of desperation to appeal to investors, Lex from LexCorp releases an actual organic, living AI Assistant.
It’s UX has been described as brute because it responds with “grr” and “rawr”. Users mostly describe it’s appearance
similar to the main Orc from Lord of The Rings.
- …the Rancor from Return of the Jedi
- …a Shrek-like ogre from the bad side of the Swamp.
- Superman dies from being impaled by the Harry Potter troll’s ingrown fingernail.
- At one point, the movie tries to generate hype for the next installment of superhero
movies by teasing which heroes may make an appearance. Gal Gadot is on a laptop
clicking on LexCorp “files” which consist of collected evidence revealing individuals
with super powers. You see The Flash and one other super hero that I don’t know but
looks like a cyborg. BUT MY FAVORITE PART is when they show Aquaman. A submarine is exploring
a shipwreck and Aquaman just happens to be alone inside the shipwreck. Doing. Absolutely.
Nothing. The Lord of the Ocean is in his domain and all of its creatures will bend to its
will and he’s just swimming around in a shipwreck!
- 5/10
01/07/2016
- 3-word summary: Dinosaur Gladiatorial Wrestlemania.
- Crowd-pleasing action with a bow on top.
- Allow me to summarize the end without actually spoiling it for you: It’s like as if Batman vs. Superman ends with Aquaman coming out of the water to grab Superman back to the depths of his ocean lair.
- It’s a good reminder how Speilberg was able to capture the pure awe of seeing a living dinosaur in the original movie.
- This time around, it’s like we have the dinosaur riding a tiny bicycle for a circus.
- I know what they’re trying to convey. We got to the point where we aren’t even afraid of the dinosaurs we’ve create (or recreated?). In fact, we’re embracing it. We made it into entertainment. But it’s just too fantastical. It’s not believable.
- It’s doesn’t have the rawness of the original.
- In the ultimate act of jumping-the-shark, JP3 predicts dinosaur soldiers.
- More like jumping-the-Megalodon.
- It could be said that it’s a commentary on the possible future of genetics. But the entertainment feels really cheesy.
- 5/10
N-Hat